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Lesson Four: Verb Tense
As you write your essay, remember to
focus on verbs and keep adjectives to a minimum. Pumping your sentences full of adjectives
and adverbs is not the same thing as adding detail or color. Adjectives and adverbs add
lazy description, but verbs add action.
Passive Tense
Our editors find that one
of the greatest weaknesses of admissions essays is their frequent use of the passive
tense. For this mini-lesson you will learn why the passive voice should be avoided, how to
identify it, and how to replace it with the preferred active voice.
Overuse of the passive voice throughout an
essay can make your prose seem flat and uninteresting. Sentences in active voice are also
more concise than those in passive voice. You can recognize passive-voice expressions
because the verb phrase will always include a form of to be, such as am, is,
was, were, are, or been. The presence of a be-verb,
however, does not necessarily mean that the sentence is in passive voice. In sentences
written in passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed in the verb; the
subject is acted upon. In sentences written in active voice, the subject performs the
action expressed in the verb; the subject acts.
EXAMPLES:
(Passive) I was selected to be the tuba
player by the band leader.
(Active) The bandleader selected me to be the
tuba player.
(Passive) I will be prepared for college
as a result of the lessons my mother taught me.
(Active) My mother taught me lessons that will prepare me for college
(Passive) I am reminded of her voice every
time I hear that song.
(Active) That song reminds me of her voice.
EXERCISE #4: STRONG VERBS vs. WEAK VERBS
Fill in the blanks using the most
descriptive or active verb phrase.
1. After working closely with my mentor, I
__________ advanced techniques in oil painting.
a) was beginning to master
b)
began to master
c)
mastered
2. My newspaper article on the labor
strikes __________ both praise and criticism.
a) generated
b)
got
c)
was the recipient of
3. Once I joined the debate team, I
__________ the opportunity to compete every weekend.
a) sought
b)
had
c)
was exposed to
4. Samuel’s touchdown __________ the
stadium crowd.
a) created much energy in
b)
energized
c)
really energized
5. Woolf’s essay __________ my
opinion of gender inequality.
a) challenged
b)
made me take another look at
c)
was challenging to
6. As Jessica drew near me, I __________
the baton and took off running.
a) grasped
b)
got
c)
was given
7. Once my mother had fallen asleep, I
__________ the dolls on her nightstand.
a) put
b)
arranged
c)
set up
8. Chris and I __________ an educational
project for first-graders in our community.
a) began
b)
started
c)
initiated
9. “Why didn’t you ask me before
throwing it away?” Jason __________.
a) hollered
b)
said angrily
c)
started to yell
10. Mr. Franklin __________ that he was
our true father.
a) let us know
b)
told us
c)
revealed
Answers:
1) c; 2) a; 3) a; 4) b; 5) a; 6) a; 7) b;
8) c; 9) a; 10) c;
Changing Passive Voice to Active
Voice
If you want to change a
passive-voice sentence to active voice, find the agent in the phrase, the person or thing
that is performing the action expressed in the verb. Make that agent the subject of the
sentence, and change the verb accordingly. For many instances of the passive voice in your
essay, you can follow these steps:
1. Do a global search for the words
“was” and then “were.” These words often indicate the passive voice.
2. Cross out the “was” or the
“were.”
3. Add -ed to the verb that follows
“was” or “were.”
4. If that changed verb does not make
grammatical sense, it is an irregular verb, so change it to the simple past tense.
5. Rewrite the sentence around the new
active-voice verb.
EXERCISE #5: MAKING SENTENCES MORE ACTIVE
Change these sentences from
passive voice to active voice, or note if no change should be made.
1. I was taught by my brother the
principles of barbecuing.
_______________________________________________________________
2. My father was given the title by the
former head chief.
_______________________________________________________________
3. The house was wrecked by the party and
the cat was let loose by the guests.
_______________________________________________________________
4. The house is a mess, the cat is lost,
and the car has been stolen by Justin.
_______________________________________________________________
5. Unfortunately, my plan was ruined by
Gerald, the building superintendent.
_______________________________________________________________
6. The roof was leaking. It had been
leaking all week.
_______________________________________________________________
7. The ball was thrown by Lucy, who had
been hiding in the bushes.
_______________________________________________________________
8. Francesca was placed on the first
flight to Boston. Her father put her there.
_______________________________________________________________
9. “To be or not to be?” That is
the question.
_______________________________________________________________
10. A feast had been created from nothing.
I was astounded.
_______________________________________________________________
Answers:
1. My brother taught me the principles of barbecuing.
2.
The former head chief gave the title to my father.
3.
The party wrecked the house and the guests let the cat loose.
4.
The house is a mess, the cat is lost, and Justin has stolen the car.
5.
Unfortunately, Gerald, the building superintendent, ruined my plan.
6.
No change.
7.
Lucy, who had been hiding in the bushes, threw the ball.
8.
Francesca’s father placed her on the first flight to Boston.
9.
No change.
10.
A feast had been created from nothing. This astounded me.
EXERCISE #6:
PASSIVE-FREE WRITING
Write a 100-word essay on
anything at all (preferably relating to your essay topic) without using any form of the
verb “to be.”
Continue to Transitions
From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO
COLLEGE, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan.
Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational
Series, Inc.
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