Lesson Three: Compare and
Contrast Sample Essay
Note: The below essays were not edited by
EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.
SAMPLE ESSAY 1: Columbia, Athlete and
Musician (sailing and bass guitar)
Write a chapter from your
autobiography.
Chapter 34: One Memorable
Sailing Practice
The suns glare off the
water forces my watery eyes to close even more. Spray leaps over the bow and blocks my
vision as it slams into me like hundreds of little pebbles. The salt water has irritated
my eyes enough already, but I am only beginning my practice for today. The Buzzards Bay
Regatta is only three days away, and I must get comfortable with the boat.
Skimming over the waves on a
screaming plane, the boat senses every movement. The boat is like a leaf being blown
across a pond. With only the rear end of the hull in the water, I am half flying and
concentrate on positioning my weight aft for the most speed. I shuffle my butt half a foot
aft and the boat rounds up towards the wind, but I fight the motion off with the helm and
regain my original course.
With one hand on the tiller and the
other holding the mainsheet, I see that my hands are in the same position when I play my
bass guitar. Comparisons between the two mesh together in my mind as I realize the
similarities between bass guitar and sailing. I recall the practicing involved in bass and
see how sailing requires the same diligence. My thoughts no longer focus on fine tuning my
sailing, but they vividly connect bass guitar playing and sailing.
I probe to find out what the
essences of sailing and music are. While on the water in a sailboat, I accept the elements
as they present themselves to me. Given certain wind and wave conditions, I manipulate the
sailboat to attain the best harmony between by boat and its immediate environment. I
imagine the sailboat is an extension of my body and plunge, accelerate, and rock with the
sea and the wind, as the boat does. Sailing stresses technique because I need proper form
to adjust to all of the different combinations to have twelve different notes in the
musical alphabet with which to work, and with my technique I manipulate those notes and
arrange them to adjust to varied moods I want to express. Again, painstaking technique is
emphasized because by body must encompass the bass to attain the pure harmony between my
expression and the notes on the instrument. Meticulously, I pluck, pull, and slide my
fingers on the strings as I adjust to the countless combinations. Musicians and sailors
alike practice their technique to reach perfection, whether it be in the form of the
fastest sailboat or the most sonorous melody. Rooted in the same essence, I discover that
I draw from the same method to sail and play music.
Seemingly unrelated experiences
converge. Bass guitar and sailing do not seem to relate to one another, but I discover the
similarities. Linking bass guitar and sailing consummates the understanding of two of my
hobbies. I seek the mastery of my sailing, but I realize that I simultaneously increase my
understanding of bass playing as well.
My focus shifts from new
realizations back to my sailboat, but the waves are turning into ripples as the sun sets.
There will not be any more sailing today, but I can now continue practicing with my bass.
COMMENTS:
This writer maintains focus by
making the similarities between his two activities the topic of the essay. The detail with
which he describes both activities and the depth with which he analyzes their similarities
clearly demonstrate the passion that he brings to both.
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SAMPLE ESSAY 2: Harvard, Favorite Characters
Of all the characters that
Ive met through books and movies, two stand out as people that I most
want to emulate. They are Attacus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird and Dr.
Archibald Moonlight Graham from Field of Dreams. They appeal to me
because they embody what I strive to be. They are influential people in small towns who
have a direct positive effect on those around them. I, too, plan to live in a small town
after graduating from college, and that positive effect is something I must give in order
to be satisfied with my life.
Both Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham are
strong supporting characters in wonderful stories. They symbolize good, honesty, and
wisdom. When the story of my town is written I want to symbolize those things. The base
has been formed for me to live a productive, helpful life. As an Eagle Scout I represent
those things that Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham represent. In the child/adolescent world I am
Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham, but soon Ill be entering the adult world, a world in which
Im not yet prepared to lead.
Im quite sure that as
teenagers Attacus Finch and Moonlight Graham often wondered what they could do to help
others. They probably emulated someone who they had seen live a successful life. They saw
someone like my grandfather, 40-year president of our hometown bank, enjoy a lifetime of
leading, sharing, and giving. I have seen him spend his Christmas Eves taking gifts of
food and joy to indigent families. Often when his bank could not justify a loan to someone
in need, my grandfather made the loan from his own pocket. He is a real-life Moonlight
Graham, a man who has shown me that characters like Dr. Graham and Mr. Finch do much much
more than elicit tears and smiles from readers and movie watchers. Through him and others
in my family I feel I have acquired the values and the burning desire to benefit others
that will form the foundation for a great life. I also feel that that foundation is not
enough. I do not yet have the sophistication, knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed
as I want to in the adult world. I feel that Harvard, above all others, can guide me
toward the life of greatness that will make me the Attacus Finch of my town.
COMMENTS:
This essay is a great example of
how to answer this question well. This applicant chose characters who demonstrated
specific traits that reflect on his own personality. We believe that he is sincere about
his choices because his reasons are personal (being from a small town, and so forth). He
managed to tell us a good deal about himself, his values, and his goals while maintaining
a strong focus throughout.
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From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO COLLEGE, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and
Chris Dowhan.
Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational
Series, Inc.
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